CHAPTER 11 – #Hate-‘em-or-Love-‘em

As much as I would have liked to stop thinking about #money it was always on my mind. Sure my family coming was a #relief; at least I was able to get some help. But I felt guilty. I was so used to doing everything on my own, taking care of myself for many years. Also as you can tell from my early chapters I didn’t even want anyone knowing about the #cancer, or even before I knew it was #cancer. My life was a never-ending series of hospital, doctors, etc that it became the norm. I did not feel like I needed anyone there. I just got used to it.

So 2 days before I was to start radiation was the night we went out until 7am in the freezing cold. It started out as being all fun and games then ended badly. Let’s just say there were accusations of sexual molestation, police involvement, and security cameras…. Shit hit the fan! As with all families, when they get together, let alone during circumstances involving health; everyone is going to lose their mind at some point. Mine was long gone. Hannie had already lost his and therefore we decided that it was time for him to take a break and go back to California to take care of my niece while my sister came to stay with me. Azza was trying to keep the peace but that wasn’t going to last long. At the same time, my dad had already left and my mother was arriving the day after my first session.

To be #honest all the #drama did keep me quite #distracted, but it also made me extremely #stressed and irritable. I hated everything and everyone. I so desperately needed to shut myself out, away from the world. Furthermore I had the smart idea of going off all my meds cold turkey (#antidepressant, #Xanax, and #Clonazepam) as well as quit smoking and drinking for the duration of the radiation. Big mistake! If I was already going out of my mind, this definitely was going to throw me off the edge. No wonder I wanted to get rid of everybody. (Just kidding folks.)


I was #intolerant to everything! There was an unfortunate episode that occurred at the hotel I was staying in. My brother, sister, and I could not stand back and watch. It was #despicable. Here is the summary of events that happened on April 4th, 2015:

“Never have I experienced #racial slander and #religious discrimination as I did this evening. An #ignorant American black woman felt that it was her place to ‘interfere’ with the life of a very #pleasant young Muslim girl who was covered up. This young girl was minding her business, came into the hotel bar to have a coffee and read her book. What book she was reading is #irrelevant, but for the sake of putting this out there, she was reading the Koran. This drunk American decided that she was going to #approach her and #force her to have a conversation about #Islam. The young lady #politely declined and asked to be left alone so she could continue her reading. The drunk American felt it necessary to approach her again and say that Islam is supposed to make people kind and the young lady should talk to her. The drunk American then proceeded to contact the #useless night manager of the hotel and have a conversation with him, in front of the young lady, about #Islam and how Muslims women should not be seen in public alone.

The young lady, feeling #threatened and #disrespected, and rightfully so, called the police. The police came and approached the drunk American. They tried to reason with her and explain to her that we are in the UK and #everyone #is #free to come and go and do as they please. They asked her to leave, as the young lady was very unsettled and shaking from being harassed by this young American. While the police were talking to her, the American decided that she was going to school them on Islam and proceeded to tell them that she was alarmed by the fact that this woman was alone and that she should be #accompanied by a man at all times. At that point I had to step in. I got up out of my seat and asked the drunk if she was a #Muslim. The nice English Police didn’t even flinch. She said no. I said, then don’t talk about what you don’t know. The police asked her to leave the premises and the useless manger was there and agreed to walk her out since she did not want the police to escort her out. I stepped outside with my sister and this drunk was speaking with the manager asking if she could come back in for one more drink. At first he said no, but then he gave in. Before she walked through the door. I stopped the manager and said no way. I am a hotel guest and there is no way that you will let that woman back in the hotel.

He agreed and proceeded to go inside and she decided that she was going to have a conversing with my sister and myself. I told her right away that I don’t need to have a conversation about Islam or any conversation with her. She proceeded to become aggressive. Telling my sister that she’s not a real Muslim because she doesn’t cover up and it ended with her calling my sister a bitch and a cunt and telling her to fuck off. Told her that she’s not Muslim and that she will get #cancer from smoking. Now those that know can imagine how that comment would make me feel. #Seriously? After that we went inside the bar and she hung around. Then she came inside and started acting childish and saying she was going to wind up my sister. I immediately went to the manager and told him she came back inside. I went to him a second time and he said he would come talk to me as soon as he was done. Let’s not forget I stay at this hotel and the drunk does not. He never came. The drunk went to go talk to him and he entertained her for 45 min and allowed her to have another drink. All the while he still didn’t come to talk to me!

Finally, one of the great staff members of the hotel was trying to help this young girl and find her accommodation as she had missed her train due to this bullshit. The douche manager finally came to talk to us at this point since I demanded it. He proceeded to take sides with the drunk and speak to us very disrespectfully. Keep in mind that the coffee the young lady ordered was still sitting there. His answer to that was that she had more than enough time to drink it. Really? When #asshole? I got angry and told him that the way he was speaking to us was extremely disrespected and that he did not speak to the drunk that way. In the end we got her a room in the hotel. She was shaking, had missed her train home and was a mess. The douche would not comp her a room cuz she was not physically assaulted. R u #fucking kidding me! She was #emotionally and #verbally assaulted by an ignorant drunk.

Needless to say that this will go up to corporate and this will become a problem. For the hotel, the douche and the drunk. He had the nerve to come and say that if she wanted breakfast it was on the house. Fuck a breakfast asshole. How about taking care of your clientele and you hotel guests? Clearly this job goes above and beyond his abilities and he needs to find another one. I will contact corporate and they will hear the wrath of me. As many of you know. I’m not here on vacation so I clearly don’t need to deal with this or worry about some drunk coming back and making my stay miserable nor should anyone or I be subjected to any form of discrimination. This if unacceptable for a hotel of such standards. Unacceptable! I am livid. I don’t feel comfortable staying here knowing that this drunk may show up at anytime and harass my family or me. Embarrassing. Unbelievable. This world is sad.”

Long story short, I got the lady #banned from the hotel permanently. I received an apology from the manager and accepted it only because he did have a family to take care of and I am not inhumane. I also got meals on the house for the emotional stress the whole ordeal caused on my being. 🙂


What is the chapter about? #Hate, #love, and everything in between whether it relates to family, friends, or strangers. As angry as we (my family) were with each other, as sad and upset as we were about my illness. We could not allow someone else to be treated badly and say nothing. Compassion is severely lacking in this world. #Severely! A little goes a very long way. I am thankful to all my doctors, nurses, lab technicians, strangers (family and friends are already included), anyone that was nice to me during this time. I am truly #blessed, #honored, and #grateful.

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